Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
