sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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