Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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