is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
