so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
