just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
