Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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