i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
