Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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