What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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