fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
