..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
