maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
