Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
