Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
im calling her cock vulture from now on
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Randomize