he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
