If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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