She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
