We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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