capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I skipped work to stalk him.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
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