The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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