i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I will be naked everywhere
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
