So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.