im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
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I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
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Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!