Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.