I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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