I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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