P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
