imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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