she was so not down for the gang bang
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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