Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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