Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
