He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
