fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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