Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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