I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
