No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
