All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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