I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
