i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I looked at my own cervix.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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