I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
