Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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