and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
