you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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