I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
