if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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