Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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