Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
