she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
