Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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