Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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