We're facebook friends in real life
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize