Well apparently he's into motor boating.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
