So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Randomize
