is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
