So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
