dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
