he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
