I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
