First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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