i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
