don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
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Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
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