just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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